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| Saturday, October 6, 2007 | |
| Exhaustion | |
| My apologies for not being able to blog for such a long period of time... To be frank.. I'm pretty exhausted now as I type this entry.. but I'm trying get this entry in as there's so much things for me to say and so much thoughts to share.. Pardon me if you find it too lengthy... I have been busy with School.. Work and Personal Life... Lets talk about school first... last week and this was like some mad rush.. week after week there's an assignment due... so you can imagine me trying to do my work in the day and doing my assignments at night... I guess i spoke to some of you about some stuffs my classmates said to me that made me kinda sad.. they say I spoil market.. do my report so nice.. do this so good.. blah blah blah... and then they have to up their standard to match mine. I really duno what to do when they said those things to me. Its like.. I'm just trying to do a good job for my assignment. I can't just do a lousy job and hand up... and furthermore.. thats my character... i just want everything to be properly done up and so i put in abit more effort in getting it done. Like that also wrong meh? Then there's also this disagreement about how one of the Unit's assignment to be done up... I'm fine that you all ask me to email my lecturer about it.. and he replied by saying I'm on the right track... but dun keep going on and on and on in class and everywhere that I'm wrong. You can choose not to believe in my way and do it your way.. i just dont like to get involve in any argument or etc.. I just want to get it done correctly and to hand it up on time.. but sigh.. till the day the assignment is due.. they are still swinging around saying this n that.. which I don't really wanna hear about.. I already have my own problems to deal with.. and I thought school's gonna be an alternative escape route for me to look at things from another angle... but wah seh.. its driving me alittle bit crazy le. I think its me.. pisces is like that.. I dun like people to be angry or upset with me.. and I will just keep thinking and thinking and then feel bad and etc.. sigh Anyway.. finally I have completed two assignments.. one more to go before a whole new cycle of assignments to be done...I hope I can just get through this semester with flying colors. Now next is work... oh my god.. its really crappy.. I have been going office like almost everyday now.. and its more or less contributing to the exhaustion that I am haivng right now.. for the whole of last week.. average time I am home is about 11.30pm everyday... monday school, tuesday work.. wednesday school.. thursday work.. and friday I KOed the whole day at home.. and right now i am still feeling achy all over.. oh yar. and there's also school today... but generally work is still not so bad i guess. its like normal.. arguments and disagreement.. I just wonder how I will be able to take it when exams comes.. Next is my own personal life.. from the above two.. it seems that I almost have no life le... I dun even have the time to log on to MSN at times... but then yeah.. I'm still struggling with *D*. I have been trying to control my emotions.. each time *D* is out with friends.. I know *D* is not out with friends.. but what can I do? I can only sit at home and wait for *D* to come back... and sometimes when I'm home *D* is not home.. when I'm not home.. *D* is at home.. and I'm already trying to control myself very hard already.. everytime *D* comes home and wanna like ask me things.. i dont really feel like answering... i'm just feeling very hurt inside.. but at the same time when *D* is not around.. i misses *D* so much that I tell myself I must put in more effort to do more for *D*... but yet when *D* is back.. that feeling turned into anger..and sadness.. and I really duno how I can control myself. I go to work and school as normal.. getting past each day like nothing has happened.. but there's just so much happening inside me that I duno who I can really talk to.. or share with. Sometimes I even go shopping or eating myself... I asked *D* if *D* has the time to go with me.. but its always out with friends or work or tired... and I cant really asked my friends out.. cos I think I will just break down and cry. Its really a struggle as I have to act normal in life when deep inside.. it hurts like shit. Sigh.. ok I shant talk so much about it. Something happier I guess.. I finally got my 881 OST 2 the moment it released and 石欣卉's 剧欣卉集 that has a collection of all the Mediacorp songs she sang... both CDs are very nice and I like it very much.. I guess thats something for me to be happy about.... I also bought my cardigan already... got it from FOX.. the one that looks like the cK Jeans one.. i tried looking for the cK one but couldnt find it.... so bo heee hei ma hou... I guess that's about all for today.. I plan to do my 3rd assignment later.. plus file my bills into a new file... file my lecture notes, workshops, tutorials into separate files for easy reading... then maybe pack my wardrobe.. and go for a run.... I miss you all and do continue to come and read my blog.. I may not blog like everyday But I will try to do it as and when I'm free.. Miss you all.. |
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| posted by terzy @ 7:16 PM | 
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