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| Monday, September 24, 2007 | |
| 压力很大 | |
| Ya very very stress... but I just thought of writing a very short post before I proceed to do more work.. and assignments. It has been very stressful.. so stressful that I almost gonna break down.. Having to deal with my own personal issues, I also have to look at the work related issues.. and now there's the school related issues. It started with a bang.. so excited about school and etc... and I am still excited.. but I just can't really handle the stress very well now.. cos I have to juggle with 3 different kinds of problems at the same time. It eventually lead to a triggering of a personal email to my boss to tell him that I can't take the workload + schoolwork anymore... One assignment due next week and I am halfway there.. but at the same time I have 4 projects to look into and at least 2 project launches next week. There's also the documents and emails to prepare and reply... and life aint that easy being a Project Manager.. Cum Developer Cum Interface Designer.. its almost like a Bao Ka Liao situation for now.. but I am really praying hard for improvements soon as I slowly handover my work to the new comers.. but for now.. I have to be strong.. and force myself to.. even though I know I cant take it anymore. Nothing much yesterday and today. Was doing assignments yesterday plus watching the 校花校草 program on MobTv... really alot of ahems to look at... *DROOLS*. Today I woke up early to go school. Had planned to go school myself.. but one of this classmate of mine kept insisting that he will come pick me up to school.. even though his house is not really at my area.. but maybe cos my 人缘 still quite good.. Anyway its quite lucky that he came to fetch me.. cos when we reached school.. it was raining cats and dogs... but heng we made at our way through the rain without getting too wet.. and considering the fact that we thought that we were already late... the classroom was practically empty... then it was lessons from 10am to 5pm.. yeah.. long lectures.. and trying to squeeze as much stuffs as they can into my teeny tiny pea brain... but still managed to survive that. Went back home on the train... and went to TM to walk around and get some files and stationery. Ok.. I know.. I keep saying about getting stationery.. but I think that's me.. I like to stay organised and be organised. I prefer filing my bills and my notes.. I prefer to label my files properly and to have proper document trays and holders to keep them in place.. thats me.. and this kinda small small things makes me feel good .. neat and tidy. When i reached home, i had abit of dinner then i went to sleep. Slept for a good 2 hours before I head out for a 5.5km run. It was a good one.. not really that shag.. and timing still ok.. after that It was abit of chatting with sis.. and then blogging (like now) and then I gonna go make myself a cup of hot tea plus do assignments + work. *Good Nite everyone.. and I miss you guys* |
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| posted by terzy @ 1:15 AM | 
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| Saturday, September 22, 2007 | |
| insomnia | |
| Sigh.. its closed to 6am.. and I still cant get to sleep... =( | |
| posted by terzy @ 5:42 AM |
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| Tired | |
| I think I will try to keep it short today cause I don't really have the mood to blog today. I have been busy with work... have been sleeping like less than 4 hours each day.. rushing for project reviews with clients and deliveries and also other work related stuffs.. have been feeling very stress and almost on the verge of breaking down today. There's another project launch next week.. 2 assignments due and I have yet to start them... Classmates have been MSNing me asking me how to do this and how to do that and updating me on their project status.. and that makes me feel so stressful as well. I wanna tell them that hey I'm actually kinda stress but I think i find it quite difficult to turn them down... Then there's problems with someone else.. today another disappointment.. but I really wonder how long will I be able to just live with what is happening.. all the SMSes of telling me you're with who and what and then me knowing the actual truth drives me a little crazy at times.. and its so hard for me to tell everyone my problems.. its just too.. Anyway a lighter side for today's blog... my long awaited 881 OST 2 will be out next week. I hope I will be able to get it first hand without running around Singapore to look for it... Thats all for today. I need to go get my work done then assignments tomorrow.. I hope I won't think about it anymore.. |
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| posted by terzy @ 12:11 AM |
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| Wednesday, September 19, 2007 | |
| 呼吸的空间 | |
| Its been some time and many of my friends (both gamers and non gamers) has been asking me why I'd shut down my blog. Well.. I didn't but I just didn't have the mood to blog anymore... but anyway I'm back to blogging and my blog is now porkie-is-dead.blogspot.com. Life has never been good these days... all the work and assignments and projects just seems to be pouring in.. and I can't seems to complete them nor put my 101% focus on them. I tried but I failed. Personal Relationships also seems to be failing these days.... not only just the problems that I am having with *D*.. I think alot of you just didn't sense that I am upset too because I seems to be losing all of you... be it my gaming friends or my real life friends. The gap and distance between us seems to be getting wider and wider as each days passed by. We all don't really seems to talk so much anymore about anything and everything... and I seems to lost that cheery soul inside me.. Its just so dark nowadays.. everyday I am just sleeping, working, studying, traveling and running.... Sometimes I'm just hoping to have someone to talk to.. but there seems to be none except Sera Jie and Qian Qian sis who will ocassionally drop me SMSes and MSNes to ask me how I am doing... then there are those that I am hoping to talk to but yet they don't really have the time to bother about me.. I guess I'm already losing it.. and I seriously need to go one corner and hide for some time.. maybe I shouldn't have stepped out in the first place. I get into stupid and clumsy acts as well these days... injuring my eyes while sleeping and I wonder how I can actually poke my own eyes.... then there was the of hitting of my hands against a door and getting a cut from it.. and then flaring up in office because I think I can no longer take the attitude from the guys.... (and those work stuffs that got me so frustrated.. but thats another different story all together) But then.. for a consolation.. I was given the chance to attend to BBQs last week. One organised by my disgusting superior... and the other one was organised by me... The first one got me damn upset and pissed (which explains the previous post)... Its a BBQ between two companies under the same bosses.. we dont like X Company's de staff and vice versa.. but they did a terrible and disgusting act that just pisses me off.. anyway i won't talk about it here... The second BBQ was organised by me (as usual...) lots of food and etc and I had a fun night squeezing into a queensize bed with X number of guys... and then telling ghost stories that really made me freak out.. but I didnt really BBQ cos my eyes were red and everyone was trying to shoo me away from the pit... Following the BBQ... I went to IKEA with mum.. supposedly to go with *D* but *D* has to go to work.. so ended up me and mum at IKEA Tampines. Went there to collect my membership rewards vouchers and to buy new bed sheet covers.. document holders and etc.. Monday was a puke blood day and its the same for Tuesday after going through the work with my guys. Had planned to actually do my assignments today but ended up doing my guy's work cos they didn't really do one that is up to my expectations and I have to show my clients on Thursday during a review session. I went out for a while though to get my try again at getting insurance policies (because the last few rounds.. were all rejected from all the insurance companies and I am so sick of trying already... but no choice because my doctor advise me to get myself covered before she carry out more tests...) so I hope this time it gets through... I guess that's all for today and maybe tomorrow.. I don't really know what else I wanna talk about because..... *Nites* |
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| posted by terzy @ 3:51 AM |
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| Thursday, September 13, 2007 | |
| Upset and Pissed | |
| I'm quite upset with somethings.. haven got a chance to talk to anyone about it yet.. and I'm pissed off with a Company event today. I am ultra pissed. Good Night. |
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| posted by terzy @ 12:17 AM |
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| Tuesday, September 11, 2007 | |
| Short and Sweet | |
| Today's post gonna be short and sweet cause someone commented that nowadays my blog very long... and winded (i supposed) so i gonna make it.. short and sweet. I woke up late for work today at 10.45am. Took a cab to work instead and when i reach office it was already time to go for lunch. After work I went to Daiso @ PS to walk around then went to NTUC Fairprice @ TM to buy some stuffs before heading back home. Nothing much I guess.. gonna leave the other details out. Will be doing my work plus some reading up of textbooks ba.... thats all! =) Advance Good Nite to all of you.. and sweet dreams! |
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| posted by terzy @ 9:15 PM |
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| 心情不是很好 | |
| Quite a packed day today. Woke up like 8am.. then saw that the sky was dark and cloudy.. quickly rushed myself to bath and etc.. but by the time I left my house at 9am.. it was already raining and I got alittle bit drenched while making my way to the bus stop to take bus. Reached office around 10 and then was busy doing work the whole day. Didnt really went out for lunch as I was feeling abit stressed out and tired.. so gotten my friends to tabao lunch for me while I do my work in office. I then spent the whole afternoon running through the work done by my guys.. then I left office around 5.45pm to take bus to school. Actually I was quite early because school starts at 7pm.. so I went around Centre Point to walk walk lor and to look for a cardigan. Saw one at GAP that costs around $139.. and its really quite nice.. but I thought of looking around abit more and if I cant find anything nicer.. I think i will go GAP and get that piece of Cardigan.. I then walk to school and bought myself an expresso shot.. but think it wasnt enough and one of my class mates jio me to go buy coffee with him.. so i ended up getting another cup of latte... and maybe thats explains why I am so active now. Lecturer was late.. he came around 7.30pm.. but yeah he explained why la so I am still ok. The lecture slides today was 84 slides.. and its abit sian and hard to catch but I was trying my best liao. Maybe I must really force myself to read the textbooks one day before the lectures so that I can have a better understanding of the topic. Class ended like 9.30pm and then I went back home liao... reached home and not feeling tired so I went for a run. Surprisingly today I ran abit longer distance... a step closer to my goals I guess but I think I need to work extra hard. Was tired and shagged after the run.. so went to bath and here I am now blogging. Read abit of sis de blog just a few minutes ago.. and yeah.. maybe ba abit distance.. but no worries.. I am fine. Sorry you got a bit pissed after talking to me... I am thinking perhaps I shouldnt have told anyone about what happened.. but anyway.. say also say already... so yeah but thanks sis.. I know you're still with me... =)... and please lah sleep early ok.. I know that you will be reading this entry one... you don't sleep early next time your skin hor really become like those chinese new year oranges. =X I'm not scaring you... I guess that's about all ba. I still have to go office tomorrow... and I wanna go get my work done.. and this week I have two BBQs one after another... but thank goodness there's no other lessons except the one I attended today so still quite alright. Miss all of you.. and advance good night ba. =) *mentally and physically tired.. just how long more can I go?* |
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| posted by terzy @ 12:41 AM |
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| Monday, September 10, 2007 | |
| Feeling Sensitive... | |
| Its so late at night.. geez and where's everybody? I just came back not long from a run today.. and almost died halfway... I didn't run as well as I'd used to for the past two trainings already.. I'm struggling with the pace and I wonder if I can ever achieve that target that I am supposed to? I rot quite a little at home today.. woke up like 10 plus in the morning. Have been wanting to read a textbook to prepare myself for tomorrow's lecture, but yet I'm unable to concentrate. I then went for breakfast and I felt sleepy and tired almost immediately after stepping into the house, and so I went to bath and then tried reading my textbook from Chapter 1 again. After finishing the last few pages of Chapter 1, I went through the review questions and find myself not really absorbing what I had just read, though I kinda understand the case studies and why this and that was done, I couldn't really focus on what I had to do....... and I ended up in my bed. I'm beginning to feel the stress already. I wanted to get things done but yet I can't seems to get it going, there's just too much stuffs running in my brain and I can't really focus on handling them one by one. And sigh I am not sure if I am just trying to stress myself too much cause some of my classmates just doesn't seems bothered yet.. or is it just me.. =.= oh.. back to sleeping... yeah I slept till like 5pm and then I was feeling hungry... but I didn't have the mood to eat after *D* told me about going out with a friend but then it ended up somehow that *D* didn't go out.. and wanted to go watch a movie with me instead... (and at that point of time I felt like I am just a substitution...) We looked through the list of shows and nothing seems to be interesting... and then I just randomly mumbled about going to Bedok 85 to eat dinner.. and *D* said ok... It has been a long time since we went there to eat together... and as expected.. its 人山人海 at Bedok 85, but the clever me spotted a couple leaving and then I quickly got ourselves a table. Oh for those we'd never heard about this wonderful place in the East... its still not too late for you to head down to Bedok Blk 85 to try out the food... Its a little food heaven... hawker style and its famous for its Bar Chor Mee.. Minced Meat with Meat Balls and soup... there's also the Bedok Chai Chee Porridge that is a must try.. but then must wait la.. cos the ah beng will tell you to wait like 30 minutes for a bowl of Century Egg Porridge.. but for the sake of eating it plus he's 可爱.. usually I will wait lor... then there's also the Chan BBQ which is also another must try.. the stingray and bbq sotong is just superb... its one of my friend, Lynn's favourite and she will come all the way from the North side just to have this dish. Anyway enough intro about Bedok 85.. for our dinner.. we ordered Bar Chor Mee... BBQ Chicken Wing... 蚝煎.. and Fish & Chips.... xD I admit I had a very sinful dinner but it was good.. (less the stares from people waiting for the seat... but a plus for all the nice looking people there.. @@)... and then we went to NTUC to buy some stuffs before heading to the bus stop to take a bus home. Hmm It seems that things are back to normal... but I'm still feeling unsure... and its a feeling that is hard for me to describe. *D* has been busy SMSing throughout the trip... so sigh.. i really how to describe that feeling that I am having... and its like we went out only because the other party of *D* couldn't make it.. so sigh all I can say is I am really unsure but I am still trying to keep my fingers crossed. I went to Uncle Steve's web site today.. and I really wanted to curse and swear because Uncle Steve just launched a few range of enhanced products that I love so dearly.... there's a new look for the ipod... and its call Classic IPod, with the 160gb one going at just $598... ok I can't complaint.. I got my 80gb one for free from my friends as a birthday present... but its just so urgh! Its the same price but yet double the storage!!! Then hor.. Uncle Steve launched another product which also made me ultra dulan... its called the IPod Touch and it looks exactly the same as an IPhone.. just that its an IPod.. its ultra chio lor.. and I hope I can get this as a birthday present next year.. or maybe a MacBook la.. I am kinda sick of my HP.. =P  I think that's about all for today.. its already 1am.. and I still plan to do some work before going to sleep.. and I am having classes tomorrow.. so yeah.. and I really want the CK Cardigan.. I even dreamt about it...one last thing... that I guess I forgot to talk about since the subject of the blog is "Feeling Sensitive.." I guess I am just being sensitive here but Pisces are sensitive... and I'm ultra sensitive kinda person.. but yeah.. recently I'm just beginning to feel and sense some changes.. and differences and some distances.. maybe I am just being sensitive here.. but I guess each and everyone of you are leading your own separate lives.. doing things that you want to do... and finding new things in life that might just interest you.. and I guess maybe I will be doing that too in time to come... Busy with work.. Busy with school.. Busy with assignment... and Busy keeping myself Busy... Don't mind what I had just said.. like what I had explained earlier on.. its just a sensitive thing and most probably I will forget about it when I wake up tomorrow. Anyway I miss alot of people today.. and I hope they miss me too. Advance good morning to everyone of you and hope that it will be a better day tomorrow. =) |
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| posted by terzy @ 1:09 AM |
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| Saturday, September 8, 2007 | |
| A Long Post.. | |
| Its been a long time.. closed to 6 days since i last blogged.. and I didnt want to let the blog just die like that.. and thought that its time for me to start blogging again. This is gonna be a very long post, so I hope my dear readers can bear with me for all the stuffs that I will be talking about in today's blog. Its 6 days since I last blogged... and its also 6 days since I found out about what happened... It has been a torturing and hell-breaking week for me. After knowing about it, I didn't have the courage to really have a confrontation talk with you. I know myself well that I won't be able to let you go so easily... I cant lie to myself that I won't think about you next time.. each time I'm in my room without you.. I know I just cant forget you.... you've been a part of my life since we met each other in school.. and letting you go is just too hard for me. I know I am to blame for what has happened... I have been too busy with my work to be there with you when you needed me most, I have not been listening and giving you the advice that I should.. and I am sorry for neglecting you. I thought that by giving you the best and taking good care of you is enough but I guess I am just so wrong about that... I'm sorry for not doing enough for you... I've talked to numerous people.. and I really want to thank Sera Jie, Den, Sis, Lynn and Val, noti and many others for being there with me when I needed you guys most. I sincerely appreciated what you all had done for me. I'm not sure what's the road gonna be like for me.. but I'm trying very hard to stay strong and to go on with it no matter what it takes. Pardon me.. if I get too emotional at times.. I hope you can understand what I am struggling with.. and what I am going through. Its hard for me to pretend that nothing has happened.. yet I have to do it as I don't have the courage to face the truth. I'm sorry if I had done something that had offended you... and I'm sorry that I had kept the truth from you people.. but I hope you can understand that I have my reasons.. for not telling the truth right from the start... I will be fine.. I hope.. I had weeped.. but its not as much as the other time.. Don't worry about me my friends.. I will stay strong... and I will keep on fighting for it... Ok.. enough about what happened.. let me just talk about the rest of the week.... hmm ok.. I went for my first lesson on Monday and surprisingly I didn't fall asleep.. though its hard for me to focus at times as that person just comes into my mind.. on and off... It was also a birthday celebration for a colleague of mine. I've supposed to step down from coordinating such events.. but sad to say.. they didn't really plan anything for it.. thus I had to do some last minute booking of restaurant.. deciding what dishes to order.. and had to run around to look for a birthday cake... and then had to sing the birthday song and smile like nothing has happened... On tuesday nothing much was done practically.. I went to work as per normal.. and went back home to go for a run around the neighbourhood.. Wednesday was a tiring day as I have to wake up early like 7 plus for a 9.30am meeting... rushed like mad to only finish the meeting in like 20 minutes.. then me and my colleague went to White Sands for a walk... and I bought like 15 pieces of donuts back to office for my guys to eat.. the donuts were yummy and delicious.. I think I sent the picture to Den and Sis.. but then again.. here's a picture of the donuts.. for those who didnt get it from me the other time..  On Thursday, I went out for a dinner with my two friends @ Cathay Cineleisure. We went to Xin Wang Hong Kong Cafe for dinner then to Starbucks for some chit chatting before heading home. I was then surfing the net for some nice cardigans.. wanted to one to wear in class cos sometimes aircon very strong... and I very cold.... then i saw this Calvin Klein Jeans one on Amazon and about.com.. quite nice..  Its a Saturday today and why am I at home? I'm not too sure either.. the other person just went out.. though you told me you're out with a friend.. I know who is that friend of yours.. and sigh.. why must both of you go to my favourite place in singapore? IKEA.... but I guess I will try not to think so much about it... as long as you're happy... I'm happy... (foolish isnt it?). I met up with my insurance agent today.. to ask him to sort out a few more policies for me.. (seriously recently my health isnt really in that very good state.. and my doctor has told me to get myself properly covered.. so yeah).. and I just finished cleaning my two Hamtaros' tank...the couple has not been doing their work since the first birth.. I wonder when will I see baby hammies again... Maybe I may just go out to Simei later to grab some files from Popular to file my lecture notes, tutorials and assignments and then I will come home to do my home work.. work de work.. and school de work.. my lecturer told us... "you should start doing your assignments the first day you got it.. and not rushing it like the day before you need to submit!" (I've got a secret lover who does just that... past few days he has been mugging his assignments.. why last minute then hug buddha's leg huh...) I will try and blog again soon.. but I think that's all for today ba.. Have a good weekend everyone and.... HAPPY BIRTHDAY QIAN QIAN SIS! AND CONGRATS ON YOUR WEDDING WITH PRODY.. =( |
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| posted by terzy @ 6:23 PM |
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| Sunday, September 2, 2007 | |
| 我快要崩溃了 | |
 Somethings has happened yesterday night and only two of my close audi frends and a few other friends know about it. I am trying to be very strong here.. though I know deep inside me.. I am not. I may not be blogging for some time I'm not sure... i hope you all can understand.If it has to happen.. i will blame no one but maybe myself... maybe I didn't put in enough effort.. maybe I have neglected it.. maybe I have know that I have already lost it a few months back. There's no tears..unlike the other time.. but I know the damage done this time round is far worst then the last. I don't have anything to look forward to except for my studies.. and I doubt i can put in any of my concentration into it as well.. maybe its really the end of everything... A bestie of mine who believes in astrology told me this year is not a good year for my sign and the other sign to get together. It says that I will be a greater pessimist than ever and thus the other sign will look for others for company. This year is not a good year as both signs have higher expectations of each other.. and it rather lead to disappointment.. sigh... all the signs are here isnt it? |
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| posted by terzy @ 3:03 PM |
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| Saturday, September 1, 2007 | |
| 葱葱头好痛 | |
 Don't really think I have any energy to really blog today because I am having a very bad headache... I went to school in the afternoon feeling ok.. but sigh.. I think the shopping trip after that caused the headache..Anyway... I'm going to rest le.. I already slept for 2 hours plus but the headache is still there.. so maybe I will go sleep abit more.... or maybe rot and watch 13 going 30... "好想你" |
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| posted by terzy @ 10:17 PM |
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| 感觉好乱喔.... | |
 Just like what the picture is trying to say... I just had a very full dinner.. yummy.. and I cant really sleep wor.. :P So satisfying de dinner.. =)Anyway pardon me.. today it might be just another long post... so if its straining your eyes.. or taking up too much of your time reading it.. or understanding it.. I sincerely apologise ok. Actually for today... I didnt go to work at all... I felt quite tired for the whole week and I thought it will be good to stay home instead of going office today.. and so I didnt wake up at 8am.. but like 11am... and then there were two miss calls... but still ok lah.. just call back lor. Its been a while since i work at home... and the feeling is just so great.. I do things at my own pace and at my own time... and less travelling = less time wasted = not so tiring.. =D I went online and yeah received a few offline messages from Sis.. and yup.. I'm sorry about it. You're right that there are actually some stuffs bothering me ba.. feeling confused and sad ba but I just want to be happy and not affect the ones around me and thus... I didnt really wanna tok about it ba... I will be fine and if I really need to talk about it.. i will okie so don't worry about me.. enjoy the more bubbly me lah.. else later I emo then you dot dot me wahahahaha =X But yeah sis I love you k. Thanks for your concern.. I will be OK de! You know.. I think yesterday was the last operating day of my favourite kopitiam downstairs my place.. cos I tot of eating something from there today but its closed.. and there's like people tearing the place down... quite sad.. I think I gonna miss the food and the coffee... Its been there since I was like primary 2 when was transferred to the nearby school.. there's a very nice nasi padang store that will have endless queues till every bit of food is sold out... there's like the 鱼片荡 auntie who knows what I want.. and will always give me extra lettuce... and then there's that nice nasi lemak store that will be sold out by the time i am out of bed everyday... and not forgetting the stupid uncle who always make fun of me when I buy coffee from him... always ask me why today only buy 1 packet and not 2.. or 2 and not 1.. or why today bo hiu him to buy coffee.. == hmmm abit hard to feel what I feel ba.. cos its like I 从小到大 eat the food there 长大 one.. cos my mum practically dont cook de.. and the other two food court style kopitiam de food is expensive and sucky.. so yeah.. anyway must start looking for other alternative food place for dinner le... I was then practically doing some work for the whole afternoon.. answering emails and etc then went for a nap at 5 plus before heading out for dinner ba... oh yeah went to watson to find the NIVEA Hydrogel.. thought its quite good.. cos recently I just bought the NIVEA Moisturiser for Men.. feels so good after applying it on my face... just need to do it twice daily.. =P plus all the other facial thingy that I need to do.... wee feels so much cleaner liaos.. and less oil... although my face is not that oily de .. but still wahhahaa.. sorry for being so hiao here... Tomorrow gotta go school.. got some induction programme.. most prob i will go in berms.. and bring my baggie.. then after that can go Orchard to shop shop. Wanna find a new belt though.. and a new pair of slippers... then maybe can go for coffee ba... before I rest on Sunday to prepare for my official first lesson on Monday.... oh yar... then hor yesterday I was like sorting out my timetable and i realised that there were actually changes in the timetable... shucks.. SUNDAY also got school liao.. and I have a week that is like Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday got school.. =S... so siong.. I think I gonna be so worn out by the time I'm awarded with the degree.. I think thats all liao ba. I haven been running for two days le.. supposed to go run today but I didnt.. yesterday was having this pain around my chest area.. then today still have. Supposed to make an appointment at CGH for some scanning but yeah I haven get it done. Shucks I better do so.. nowadays so many cases of people running and then just collapsed like that... My eyes also feeling very tired.. I need my beauty sleep soon ba after I am done with the blog for today.. then maybe update the timetable.. clear some more emails.. check through the work done by my colleagues and then I will go sleep... till 10am i hope.. cos tomorrow de skool is from 2pm to 5pm wor.. zzzzz Good night world =) "我好想你但你应该不知道" |
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| posted by terzy @ 12:48 AM |
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